A Prayer Journey – Don’t Let The Crowd Hold You Back

Prayer is a place where beauty and struggle often coexist, and from a quiet corner of home, I find myself there, a bundle of nerves and questions. Nothing fancy – just me, in the dim bedroom light, hands folded against the fuzzy threads of my dark blue robe, wondering how to break through the fog and share the burdens of my heart.

I’m alone in the darkness, but the words seem hard to grasp.

At the threshold of this sacred space, where God Himself welcomes us into His presence, the cares of the day become limitations. Distracted thoughts crowd in like an invisible barrier separating me from the One I need most. I open my eyes, shift uncomfortably and look around the room.

The house settles.

A creak. A scrape.

Night air rustles through the leaves of a lemon tree outside the window. A low flying airplane roars overhead, rising above the clouds of our country sky – and then the deep, distant rumble of a freight train sounds full and strong just beyond the woods.

I try to focus once more, tempted to give up altogether and crawl beneath my fluffy white comforter for a night of peaceful sleep.

Because, at times, the way of prayer is a journey of struggle –  laced with uncertainty and foreign to the natural mind.

At least, for me.

But maybe you, too, find yourself there on occasion, close to the place where deep calls unto the deep, only to be stopped short by a thick cloud of emotions while trying to connect with the One who has the key, the One who holds the power to unlock solutions far beyond our reach.

There are no fireworks or lightning bolts. No secret code granting a fast pass to the front of the line. Just human frailty, grappling for the right expression, wondering if the silent cries of our hearts are reaching the foot of His throne.

In moments like these, it’s easy to identify with the disciple in Luke 11:1, who said,

“Lord, teach us to pray.”

Because, honestly, I don’t always know how.

Even as I want to give up, though, someone else comes to mind. A woman whose name I don’t even know. A woman less interested in finding the right things to say, and more concerned with drawing close to Him, no matter the struggle. She valued faith and focus more than anything that might go wrong, more than her feelings, and more than the crowd threatening to hold her back.

Her story is found in Luke 8:43-48, the brief synopsis of a powerful event that forever lives on in history.

Jesus passed by, on His way to heal someone else, but undeterred, this woman thought only of touching Him, finding even just the edge of His garment, knowing He was her only answer.

And you know what?

It resulted in a connection so strong that Jesus recognized her touch above all the others surrounding Him. They both sensed the miracle as soon as it happened.

Immediate relief.

Somebody has touched me: for I perceive virtue is gone out of me.

After years of suffering, she found the Master on a dusty road, and it became paramount to reach him, no matter the cost, and no matter what stood in her way.

Many generations later, I realize she’s still teaching those who are willing to read between the lines, and those who want to join in the struggle. Through a legacy that must be perpetuated, she reminds us this journey of prayer is one of pressing through the fog, wading through the silence, and believing Christ is near, even when we don’t feel Him close.

She reminds us there is a place where the Spirit makes intercession for words we cannot find. For the words we don’t even always have.

Above it all, Jesus is waiting, drawing, calling us to come over. And I know once again that virtue flows beyond the distractions. 

Beyond the hesitance.

Beyond our own crowded thoughts.

It’s worth it to press through, and find Him on the other side.